So here's the background: new house. We're testing out the washing machine for the first time. I didn't hear the knock on the door but I realize Jen's talking to someone. I thought it might have been the electrician coming around to look at the kitchen lights. Turns out to be two Jehovah's Witnesses. Jen may have talked to them for an entire minute, which was surprising in itself. What amazed me even more though, was the fact that she actually took two of their little bookie-pamphlets, but like she explained later, it was probably the easiest way to get them off the doorstep. Besides, every house needs a little comedy. Especially one with no furniture.
Oh no! An evil book!
Because you know, books are evil.
One of the pamphlets was about the DANGERS OF THE OCCULT. When I saw it I started laughing maniacally and jumping up and down like an insane dwarf. I partly blame it on the fact that I have just uprooted myself to a new city, but also because this is still the same kind of shit we were given at primary school to warn us off from wearing black and listening to Siouxsie and the Banshees. Jen is convinced the house is now marked. Hopefully, next time they come around, I will be in the middle of a Sumerian bongo ritual.
Seriously though, I'm someone who tries very hard to be accepting of other people's beliefs. But it really ticks me off when people try to pass off a thing as something it is not. I have a special place for all things occult, and I'll tell you why. I was raised Protestant -- by no means with any evangelical fervor, but still traditional enough to be dragged to church and Bible school every Sunday. Let me tell you, Protestants have a talent for talking about evil, hell and demons. All of these tasty topics were forever lobbed under the term "occult".
When I was about 12 or 13, a Satanic Panic ran like a brush fire through the town of Somerset West where I grew up. Gravestones were defiled and uprooted. All the Goth kids were Satanists and people were continuously calling the police to investigate strange noises and hooded figures in the surrounding forests. Bookstore shelves were filled with titles that explained exactly how to spot a Satan worshiper. Of course, some of these things actually happened, but most of these nefarious occurrences were perpetuated by drunken kids out to scare the pants off one another.
The historical Church of Satan (which owes much to Gnosticism) is something completely different from modern day Satanism as portrayed in popular media like horror films. They are two separate belief systems. So when ignorant asses run around dishing out pamphlets in which they explain that the occult includes things like Twilight and Goths and muttering Latin phrases around black candles my first instinct is to laugh hysterically and then strangle someone.
Loving the faux Twilight posters.
Also, if you wear a lot of purple
you are clearly going to Hell.
These people obviously read nothing else than the Bible, otherwise they would know better. 'Occult' has more to do with Esotericism than anything to do with the devil. The word means simply "that which is hidden", and has it's origins in a number of spiritual philosophical practices.
So please, all you religious type peoples who read nothing but what you're instructed to read: make sure you know what you're talking about before brandishing your pamphlets at my door. Seriously, you need to listen less to popes and priests and more to the common sense banging away like a muffled drum inside in that thick basin of lost potential you call a brain.